Curbside Conference

Baptism by Fire

2011-01-01T07:00:00.002-06:00

Well, it's only been six months. I am not sure what this blog will be in the new year. Hopefully a place I return to more often. I have missed writing. The end of the year is such a time of reflection. You realize...I have realized what's been missing...or lacking...or completely void. Writing is one of those things in my life. As I wrote earlier on the good ole Facebook, "Hope springs eternal! Hope for a better year, better self, and mostly, much better outcomes."

I saw a church sign this week that read, "Water Baptisms This Sunday." This completely confused me. I thought all baptisms are with/by water. I shared this confusion, once again, on the good ole Facebook. Not thinking much of the few comments I received, later in the day I received one that...well, it kinda knocked me off my feet. One of those rare moments where your breath catches, but not in the good way. This acquaintance (see how I didn't say friend...because let's be honest, very few of those people on the good ole Facebook are friends) simply replied to my status, "Well, there is baptism by fire. But that can be messy."

If there is one thing I understand, it is this. Baptism by fire. (Anything by fire.) That it is messy. Not just messy but completely and utterly destructive. Life changed (forever) on January 20 of 2010. I can't help but think about just this on New Year's Eve. How life is nothing of what I thought it would be 365 days after NYE's 2009.

The fire...the baptism...the baptism by fire...

It has been on my mind too much this week. I am actually glad the parents are out of town. I would hate them to see me so down. Well, not down. But...but so reflective. So...so...living in what was and not in what is. (If you read this M and D: I know a new year is coming. And I know you love me. And I know you have shared with me in this grief. But say it with me, "Hope springs eternal!")

I went into storage two days ago and pulled out some of the boxes from the fire. They have been sitting, untouched, for the last 11 months. I thought. No, I knew they needed to be touched. Looked throw. Thought about. Cried over. And cleaned up. There are many boxes. Most it will be sorted...into the trash. I picked three boxes full of dishes. Gosh, if you know me any, you know I love (see, I did not say loved) my dishes. I have been collecting, finding abstract pieces, mostly vintage, for years. I filled the sinks at home with hot water, rolled my sleeves up, and went to work on my beloved dishes. (Remember many months ago when I wrote about it just being stuff, but my stuff. And sometimes we just love stuff. Well, this is the stuff I l-o-v-e.)

Surprisingly I did not cry over the pieces that went into the trash. Nor I did cry when the soot would not wash away (as easily as I had wanted). Nope, the tears came when I opened the boxes. That smell. I worked for months to get that smell out of my few remaining clothes, car, and...memory. That smell overwhelmed me then. And it overwhelms me now. It stayed in my memory for far too long. But I kept going. I washed. Rewashed. And finally loaded them in the dishwasher for a sanitizing cycle. Even then, after all that scrubbing, I had to make the decision to throw away certain pieces. But my favorites, well most my favorites, cleaned up. They are waiting to be wrapped up and put in new boxes. (Boxes that don't hold THAT smell.)

I hate thinking of the last year as a baptism by fire. In some strange way, by some strange manner, it may be the most accurate description.

Starting over. Finding a new way. Washed away (literally). (Remember there was a flood, too.) Surrounded and upheld in love by dear people. Called to continue on. And...to find hope in the midst of a mess. In the midst of despair.

It has been messy. The clean up continues. Outside. Inside. Boxes. And new boxes.

What I thought would be, is not the reality of today. Yet, I am here.

Even in a mess, when one is a mess, life is messy...hope can be found. Love can be found. God can be found.

Hope springs eternal. Amen.

BEAT

ps: Look at my Marigold. Goodness how time even changes our favorite four legged friends.

Photo Friday: Newspaper Puppy

2010-06-25T15:54:00.002-05:00

My Holy Terror. Good thing she is so cute.

BEAT

Two Months: In Pictures

2010-06-24T08:53:00.005-05:00

In no certain order.

BEAT

Two Months

2010-06-19T15:59:00.004-05:00

To play catch up? Or just go from here? I guess updates would be nice. How about a little list? Or a long list? I am sure additions and amendments are to come. Check back.

I graduated. Most days I thought it wouldn't happen, but it did.
I survived a flood. No house damage, but I was without power and water locked for over 48 hours. Best part? (Hint of sarcasm.) It was during final's week.
Broke up with Nashville. It had to be done. We just were not a good fit. I will visit. One day. Many months from now. I still know some quality people in the area.
Once again, I had to say good-bye to friends. From Kansas to Nashville to Atlanta and Athens, we scattered around this big ole country. I miss them dearly.
Said hello to the familiar. Moved back to Georgia. The parents are adjusting to having a child back in the house. Bless them.
Went on a glorious vacation to the beach. 8 days in the sun. And guess what? I only burned on the last day. This was a BIG accomplishment.
And then went on vacation for another few days to the lake. With much gladness, this retreat was interrupted with two big announcements.
My puppy! I got the cutest puppy, a lovely and ever chewing basset-beagle mix. She is loud. She fights sleep. Growing like a weed. My little sugar lump lump is named Marigold Francis. Have no idea if I will ever have children, so I gave her a middle name.
And, the number two development is that I got a job. The last four, now five months have been a tiresome mixture of grief, sadness, trauma, heart break, and processing. I will be the local pastor for two churches in the Athens area. My excitement is contagious. My commitment to the church remains strong. I just want to serve and love God's people. And that is what I will be doing. I start at the end of the month. And yes, I will preach at both churches each Sunday.
Life is finding a new rhythm. That's the best way to describe the current moment and mood.

Continued peace,

BEAT

ps: Meet Marigold!

Photo Friday

2010-04-23T07:03:00.000-05:00

Thinking 'Bout Somethin'

HANSON | MySpace Music Videos

Oh, Lord. This is amazing. I do love me some Hanson. And dancing!

Been thinkin'

BEAT

ps: Thanks Amber and Katie for spreading the good news!

Photo Friday: Khette

2010-04-16T17:43:00.004-05:00

Khette's Ordination

Nashville, TN

April 2010

*Photos courtesy of Betsy. Thanks.

That Cardigan

2010-04-14T06:00:00.001-05:00

You know the cardigan? The one I mentioned two posts down.

The one with silver and gold, shiny and shimmery?

I busted it out yesterday. Paired it with a brown tank and wide leg jeans.

Not one, but two gentlemen and fellow colleagues mentioned I looked pretty and beautiful in said cardigan. It helps that I put on make-up on and curled the hair.

But hey, I put on the cardigan. No longer just hanging in the closet. It does not have the colors of black or blue involved.

So there you go. Not quite as new. But still newish.

I guess that means I need to wear it again...and again...and again.

BEAT

Countee Cullen: She of the Dancing Feet

2010-04-13T08:31:00.004-05:00

She of the Dancing Feet

And what would I do in heaven pray,
Me with my dancing feet?
And limbs like apple boughs that sway
When the gusty rain winds beat.

And how would I thrive in a perfect place
Where dancing would be a sin,
With not a man to love my face,
Nor an arm to hold me in?

The seraphs and the cherubim
Would be too proud to bend,
To sing the faery tunes that brim
My heart from end to end.

The wistful angels down in hell
Will smile to see my face,
And understand, because they fell
From that all-perfect place

In honor of National Poetry Month and with the inspiration of friends, I share this poem. Countee Cullen is one of my favorites, especially since he comes out of the Harlem Renaissance.

My heart from end to end.
BEAT

Is that new?

2010-04-12T10:40:00.006-05:00

After a long, hard winter, there was a moment when I remembered how to smile. (Genuinely smile.) It was the first time I made a joke. (A self reflective joke.) I call this progress.

Someone offering a sincere compliment posed the question, "Is that new?" That's all it took. The words just came out. Well, actually there were no words at first. Laughter. Bubbling up laughter from the pit of my stomach. Muscles in my abdomen that had not been used for two months and counting. There it was. Laughter. And my answer, "Why yes, yes it is. Everything is new--head to toe. Even the underwear. (Wink)"

The day went forth, continued. Five more people asked the same question: "Is that new?" Each time? Each and every time I smiled, gave a hearty laugh and offered the same carefree answer.

You see, it's true. From head to toe it is new. Except the glasses and those few pairs of shoes that were salvageable. I wish I had that same response with that same spirit each time someone inquires or compliments. More often than not, I just offer a quite "yes." Don't get me wrong. At least I appear put together enough for people to ask and occasionally offer a compliment. For that I am grateful.

The truth, if I may? I miss my things. Please (for all that is good and holy in the world) don't tell me they are just things. I know this. I do. But they were my things. And I really liked my things because they offered me comfort, security, and stability. Yes, even those green peep-toe sandals I pull out around easter.

I miss what was. And for once, new things are not always better. My old things...my gone things...my no-more-mine things were part of my identity. They reflected my personality...my being...me. They are gone. If you haven't clued in yet, I am not just talking about clothes.

I am left with new things. New things that were bought in a rush and without a clear mind. (Imagining the silver and gold cardigan that is still yet to be worn. But hey, I got it for $8?) New things that are black and gray and navy...not green and blue and purple. Yes, I am starting to replenish my wardrobe with some brighter hues of Spring. Most days though, I am drawn to the blacks and grays.

Friends, if you are still out there, I miss...my clothes, my purses, my books, my couch, my jewelry, my memories. I miss what was...and find myself trying to understand what is. What is...well, it does not offer the same comfort and security I once knew. That is why I am not there yet. That is why I am not the happy, hopeful, and joyful person you may remember. The trauma and despair have changed me. Probably forever.

Each day I get out of bed. (Still the hardest decision I make each day.) I put on what is new. I go forth into my day missing what was, knowing newness surrounds me...and live. Sad, anticipating hope, despairing, and yet even experiencing a few moments of carefree laughter are who I am now.

Is that new? Yep. And I hate it.

BEAT

*For those reading and unclear about the details surrounding the above post, I experienced an apartment fire on January 20. It started in my bedroom, where I woke up to it spreading to my bed. I was able to get out of the apartment with very little physical injury. The fire and smoke damage did destroy most of my belongings. Since then there have been other personal and professional tragedies. When people ask how I am, I give three answers. "I'm hanging in there." "I got out of bed this morning." And "I'm in process." This post is about the process, hanging in there, and getting out of bed.

Photo Friday: Easter

2010-04-09T16:04:00.002-05:00

EASTER Potluck

Nashville, TN

April 2010

Photo Friday: Holy Week

2010-04-02T15:30:00.000-05:00

Good Friday 2010

West End UMC

Nashville, TN

What an honor to lead and worship with the people of WEUMC.

BEAT

Photo Friday

2010-03-26T09:41:00.003-05:00

Saint Simons Island, Georgia

March 2010

My mom is so creative. Bless her. And thank God for her.

BEAT

Photo Sorta Friday

2010-03-05T20:04:00.003-06:00

I don't want to be a downer. It is just where I am.

Home. Let me come home. Home is wherever I'm with you.
Home. Let me go ho-oh-ome.

I wish it were so. I wish I knew where to call home.

Soon. But not soon enough.

BEAT

ps: Thanks to Joy In Me for sharing.

Photo Friday

2010-02-26T11:51:00.003-06:00

I debated for weeks whether to share the below picture. In my mind it is graphic. I am sorry if it upsets any readers. This is a therapeutic moment for me. I am confronting the realty of what was and what is. Everyday continues a quest for hope. Within the ashes...may there be hope? And a coming peace that I cannot imagine? If I was praying these days, that would be my prayer. A prayer for hope and peace...

What Was My Home

Nashville, TN

January 2o, 2010

God's hope. God's peace.

BEAT

I and Love and You

2010-02-14T16:25:00.003-06:00

It has been a while. There's a story. But it still makes me cry. I may tell it. I may not.

I'm making it...hour by hour. Yep. I'm still at hour by hour.

Sorry to be ambiguous. My emotions are on the surface. And these emotions make me tired. So tired.

Still processing the loss...

BEAT

ps: I and love and you. Because I've got some good folk surrounding me.

The Return

2010-01-17T08:00:00.002-06:00

I am sorta back. We will call it the Slow Return. But I have returned. Thanks to Google for the awesomeness that is Reader. I wake up early, crawl in front of my computer and catch up on "My Blogs." So, I am up-to-date with you. You, however, are not up-to-date with me.

One post will not get us there. But I do have some thoughts for you. These are the random ponderings, questions, and life lessons from the last month. No logical order. Just go with the flow. That brought a smile to my face. I asked you to go with the flow when I rarely ever do anything without resistance. Bless my heart.

Sometimes quantity is better than quality.
I do not recommend driving long distances without sleep.
And I do not recommend making the return trip if sleep still has not occurred.
If for some reason you do have to make a long trip with no sleep, I do recommend short naps along the way at rest stops.
Asking for prayer can be a humbling experience.
Trusting your instincts is risky.
There is no greater feeling than preaching a good sermon.
I have some good (read great) parents.
And I have some loving friends.
Having a broken kitchen sink makes life difficult
I have never been more unsure about the future.
I graduate in less than four months.
Prayer, well, requires willingness to be transformed.
Online shopping is addictive.
I am ready for a trip.
And to graduate.

That's the start of the story. And I'm sticking to it.

BEAT

Getting Closer...

2010-01-06T11:49:00.002-06:00

...to January 12.

BEAT

Because I Can.

2009-12-29T15:55:00.002-06:00

Just enjoy the cuteness. That's all.

ps: Look at those legs crossed. Little Miss Priss, I love you.

Until January 13...

2009-12-10T09:31:00.005-06:00

...I will be working.

I so wish this had said, "I will be on vacation."

I've neglected this damn blog for weeks now. Why not explain? And leave it be. I don't like feeling guilty.

The semester is coming to a close, but I have so much work remaining for commissioning/ordination/probationary paperwork. So much. I've got some preaching dates in the coming days, too.

I leave you with these fun pictures to get you through. These are good. Real good. My friends played with the sculpting ball while I cooked for them. Best entertainment as I worked from the kitchen. Loved every second. I got some good friends. And they know how to bring the laughs.

Advent blessings. Happy holidays. Merry Christmas. And the hope of a peaceful New Year.

BEAT

ps: Best part, my last semester starts January 11. There will be no break. And the work just keeps coming. But I will be back. Just don't hold your breath.

Photo Friday: VDS Sustainability Dinner

2009-11-27T19:54:00.004-06:00

Vanderbilt Divinity School

Sustainability Dinner

Nashville, TN

Fall 2009

An early Thanksgiving dinner with local turkeys, sweet potatoes, kale, cheeses, eggs, and the list goes on! It was lovely and oh-so yummy. The vegan chickpea gravy would be my favorite. Along with the gingerbread cake. I am part of such a wonderful community who cares about people and the earth. Thanks be to a Creator who blesses us with abundant love, fellowship, and food. Amen? Amen.

Now it is just time to pass it on...

BEAT

Photo Friday

2009-11-13T18:35:00.004-06:00

The Dad

Athens, GA

August 2007

This captures what my daddy looks like 70% of the day. On the phone telling people how it is. Just to clarify, the smile is not normally that pronounced.

Love him,

BEAT

Music of the Moment

2009-11-10T17:43:00.003-06:00

David Gray

"Fugitive"

On repeat.

BEAT

ps: David Gray is the best for writing. You know, because I am starting to use my words again.

Living With?

2009-11-09T05:30:00.002-06:00

Here are my top five things I can't live without at the current moment. Maybe live without is a little strong. How about make life bearable? Easier?

1. Trader Joe's Gingerbread Coffee:

Who needs Starbucks? Yummy, favorable, and bold.

The pick me up. THE pick me up.

2: Origins Oil Controlling Lotion:

A modern miracle? I say yes.

With stress comes not-so-perfect skin.

This stops the dreadful shine. Worth the price.

3. Super Sticky Post-Its:

For the simple pleasure of checking

things off the endless to-do lists.

I enjoy the larger versions.

Good for meetings, notes, and doodles.

Stick on sticky ones.

4. Old Navy Twist Neck T-Shirt:

I have five. I have five in four colors.

Dress them up. Dress them down.

This is my go to clothing item of the semester.

5. Excedrin Migraine:

I blame it on the computer screen I stare at too often.

Plus, they carry a little extra punch with the

added caffeine in all Excedrin products.

Bonus? Why yes!

Share and share alike. What gets you through the day?

BEAT

Photo Friday: Espana

2009-11-06T05:43:00.003-06:00

Spain

January 2005

Where I would love to be...right...now.

BEAT

Use Your Words

2009-11-05T09:30:00.001-06:00

One of my favorite blogs, Girl's Gone Child, uses the phrase "use your words" for her comments section. The first time I noticed this little phrase instead of the usual "comments" tag at the end of a post, I pondered. That's right, I pondered. I took a moment and thought it over. What an invitation! What a nice little phrase to request another's thoughts on your thoughts.

A few posts back I referenced my current struggle with words. Not only do I not want to use my words, I don't want to think about the words that I could (and should) use. This love -(mostly) hate relationship with words has stretched into all facets of my life. From class assignments to church work, I am tired.

I registered for my last semester of classes last week. I wish it was more bitter-sweet. I do. I wish I was one of those people who lamented the end of a student lifestyle. I no longer find fulfillment in the classroom. Daily I'm surrounded by some of the greatest minds in the academy. I know this. I sit, listen, and learn in awe of their intellect.

I will make it through this period of love - (mostly) hate relationship with words. I have to if I want to pass my classes and get paid from work. Even if it takes locking myself in a small room with no distractions. This process usually includes turning off the wireless on my computer.

The words are there. (God, I hope they are.) I need to get past my own unwillingness and selfish. And realize I am in a time and place that is fleeting and to which (most likely) I will never return.

I'm (re)relearning to use my words. I hope you are using your words. And if you have any, leave some for me. I like the distraction. You know, when I allow myself to turn the wireless back on.

Turning it off,

BEAT

Photo Friday

2009-10-30T19:27:00.002-05:00

Church folks with funny glasses. And yes, that would be my father.

BEAT

Why I want a puppy?

2009-10-26T08:21:00.004-05:00

How can I not want a puppy? Look at this cuteness. This is the the Brother's oldest puppy, Girl. Girl is the sweetest and most sincere puppy. Just to clarify, the Mom did this to Girl. Girl did not fuss. She spent a whole hour in this outfit. What a sport! I am a blessed Aunt to have the lovely Girl in my life. We do love this puppy.

I want a puppy. Badly.

BEAT

Photo Friday

2009-10-23T08:11:00.002-05:00

The Brother

Nashville, TN

October 2009

So creepy. Maybe I should have saved this for next week's Halloween edition?

BEAT

More than 30 seconds?

2009-10-22T16:00:00.001-05:00

My brother recently commented that it only takes 30 seconds to read my blog. Have I been lacking substance? Too many pictures? (What? I like pictures.)

Maybe I am tired of words. Yes, I know I am a talker. (Go ahead. Laugh.) I write constantly. I think continually. And I talk. Constantly and continually. Put those things together and I arrive at disliking words.

I want to share those thoughts. I don't do all this thinking for nothing. Maybe you didn't come here to hear about God. Well, find another blog. I'm going to talk about God because I think about God about...80% of the day. Let's all remember, I am getting a degree about the Divine. Getting kinda tired of reading about my friends? That is about 7% of my thinking. The other 13% is consumed with family, future, and food. (I like food. I really like good food.) The future thoughts are starting to take up more and more time as graduation and the hopes of commissioning loom nearer and closer.

Maybe Photo Friday will be joined by Thursday Thought? Or Soapbox Sunday? These thoughts will consume me if I don't get them on paper...err screen. I am tired of words, but the words are not tired of me. This is the tension that I struggle with when blogging. I have substance. And I want my words to be worth more than 30 seconds.

Working on it.

BEAT

ps: These pictures are some highlights of my birthday dinner. Oh the laughter. And the trash talking. Plus the lovely kissing and hugging...and grabbing?

Embarrassing Lane

2009-10-20T07:58:00.003-05:00

...I mean Memory Lane.

As I celebrate my day of birth, my mother thought it would be a good idea to embarrass myself. Wait, I mean spread the cuteness that was BEAT in her younger years. So enjoy.

Here are some jewels from the past. Most of these are near Halloween. Many of my birthdays parties had a Halloween theme.

Let the embarrassment...I mean fun...begin.

Happy birthday to me!

BEAT

ps: Picture Set 2 features my brother and I fulfilling our dreams of being professional wrestlers. Picture Set 4 does have me sitting on the toilet and in isolation (or Time-Out). And Picture Set 5 best displays the early signs of my shamelessness.

Like Mother, Like Daughter

2009-10-19T12:47:00.003-05:00

And this my friends, summarizes the weekend.

Isn't she cute?

BEAT

Convincing?

2009-10-14T07:00:00.005-05:00

The family is coming for a visit. The big game is this weekend! Go Dawgs! Beat Vandy!

Let's clarify. The whole family. All three of my immediate family members are descending upon Nashville. This has not happened since Thanksgiving 2007.

I made reservations for a nice restaurant and sent the info to the Mom. My birthday is coming soon. Real soon. And I like to take advantage of those who have more money than myself. Not just more money, but I like to share good food with those I love. And did I mention my birthday is coming up? Of course I am going to pick a yummy place for the annual "Birthday Dinner."

In response to my email, the Mom sent the below picture to express her joy and elation. She

really, truly thought this picture would get me excited. This is her convincing evidence?

Dearest Mommy, you need to work harder.
I am scared and nervous now. I am so very
glad I just got a new bottle of Excedrin Migraine.
All my love, Your Favorite Daughter

ps: I am excited. This picture gave me a slight moment of pause. Bring on the fun, food, and family.

pps: I will update y'all once they leave. Promise.

Real and Presentable

2009-10-11T16:24:00.004-05:00

The REAL Us:

The PRESENTABLE Us:

What a weekend. What a good weekend. What a good, good weekend.

BEAT

Photo Friday: Bestie Edition, Part 2

2009-10-09T07:19:00.002-05:00

BEAT and Megs of Red Cottage Life

Nashville, TN

October 2007

Megs is here for her annual visit! And this one is going to be the best...and last...in Nashville.

Here's to laughing, eating, and watching Lifetime.

BEAT

Early...

2009-10-07T18:28:00.004-05:00

...birthday gift. Thanks mom and dad.

I more than love it.

BEAT

ps: The Vintage Pearl rocks!

Sizzling

2009-10-06T21:12:00.002-05:00

I am not on drugs. Well, I am on prescription drugs. My brain feels like it is sizzling. I've had a sinus related headache for three days. It is past the point of a headache. I've had a low grade fever. I think we are into migraine territory.

This is my brain. (Hold up egg.) And this is my brain during seasonal changes. (Crack egg in the pan.) Sizzle. Sizzle.

Another night of going to bed early.

BEAT

For Georgia: A Prayer for the Waters

2009-09-29T19:59:00.003-05:00

I dream in prayers. I dream about prayers. And I dream about writing prayers. I can see the words floating before my eyes. The words flow around me. Swirling. They craft themselves into sentences. I see hands reach out. My hands grasp the words. Hold tight. And then rearrange them. Perfecting. Creating holy, sacred texts. Spirit inspired clauses.

Creator God, You parted the waters from the land. And then you let the rains come. They came and covered the lands. The people were hopeless. They waited. And we wait. The sun is starting to peak from behind the dense clouds. The waters consumed the land. The rains consumed our homes. They waited. And we wait. The warmth of restoration is no longer beyond sight. We listen for the flicker of a dove's wings in the stillness of each day. They waited. And we wait. May the branch of peace be ever near. Though the rains were consuming, we know You were with us. Draw us close, to you and one another. Be ever present. They waited. And we wait for the rainbow. In the renewing calmness of Jesus the Christ's Spirit. Amen.

I dream in prayers. I dream about prayers. And I dream about writing prayers. When I do, I sleep well. It sounds restless. Tiring. Exhausting. There is a peace. My sleep is full of peace.

I hope those dreams come more often.

BEAT

What I'm Not

2009-09-27T20:54:00.004-05:00

I have a habit of saying what I'm not...

I can tell you what I'm not. I'm not a scholar. I'm not skinny. I'm not terribly peppy. I can continue. Don't make me.

Looking back over some posts, I think it is easier to identify the areas in which I lack. Not even areas where I need to grow, but parts of my personality and abilities that are less.

So much for positive thinking?

Sure. Process of elimination. But that could be a long process.

It's not about boasting. Or carrying on. At some point I gotta claim it. Right?

I want to know who I am. And what I can do. When I do know, I should be able to say it.

It may be easier to say what I'm not. I think I need to work on saying what I am.

What I am,

BEAT

Photo Friday

2009-09-25T06:00:00.002-05:00

Megs and Laura Loo

Chapel Hill, NC

Fall 2006

Because the leaves are a-changing. And crisp mornings are soon to be.

BEAT

Tell Me About Your People

2009-09-24T16:00:00.003-05:00

Who? These people?

I've got this person, too.

And let's not forget about these folks.

I kinda like these people, too.

I got lots of people.

I have some new duties this year at my internship. I will be making pastoral visits and calls. This mostly involves older adults and the homebound. Yesterday I visited three different assisted and nursing care living centers. I even gave a homily at a communion service. Is it strange that I feel more...comfortable? Energetic? Joyous? When I am with the older folks. Not because they are old(er), but because they get it. Life is for living. And for sharing. Smiling. Laughing. Honesty. They tell it like it is. I appreciate that. I really, really do.

My last visit was with one feisty lady. Walking in her apartment, I thought I was meeting the Godmother. She was sitting at the end of the room, surrounded by photos and plants. She was sitting high in her chair. She waved me over. Told me to sit. (And I did.) I was with another minister, but the Godmother focused on me. Looking me up and down through her good eye, we carried on a casual conversation. About 15 minutes into the visit the Godmother abruptly says, "Tell me about your people." My response, "My family?" The Godmother huffs and says, "Yes. Your family. What is your background? Their trade?"

My people? My background? Their trade? The Godmother is a unique blend of Southern Belle and elitist socialite. I loved it. I love her. After answering her questions, she looked me up and down again through the good eye. She declared, "I'm going to pray for you."

That's my job. I'm the one supposed to pray. I'm the one supposed to listen. It was a nice turn of events. I got to talk about my people. People I love and adore. And I was blessed with a sincere prayer.

I've got good people.

BEAT

For Us: A Prayer for These Days

2009-09-22T16:54:00.004-05:00

God of abundant life, be present. Make us known to your presence. Let us remember how Jesus welcomed the child to sit in his lap and said, "Do to the least of these and you will be doing unto the One who sent me." In every moment we are the child and the doer. Give us the compassion to hear our friends. And give us the clarity to ask for strength. Make us known to those who are experiencing stress. And make us humble enough to share our heavy hearts. Whether in thought, prayer, or deed, guide us in grace, and grant us wisdom. Because of Jesus Christ made known through the Holy Spirit, we are sustained and redeemed in everlasting love. Amen.

Because in every moment we are the child and the doer,

BEAT

Photo Friday

2009-09-18T11:43:00.004-05:00

Georgia Belle

Athens, GA

September 2009

These were waiting for me in my inbox last night. Georgia Belle is the Brother's puppy. Georgia, the state this time and not the dog, has been receiving enormous amounts of rain the last few days. Georgia, back to the dog, loves it.

Play on, Belle. Play on.

BEAT

The Dad

2009-09-14T06:15:00.002-05:00

If you happened to review the comments from my last post, my father was not too happy that I called him grumpy. Or insinuated that I get my grumpy demeanor from him. Let's be honest. I do. Bless his heart. And bless mine. And Lord knows I don't like to admit it, but I am my father's child. As is my brother. For some reason the dad cannot (for the life of him) see the connections. I am grumpy, impatience, and straight talking. These happen to be some of the most endearing qualities of the dad. Now, let's not tell him. I have prided myself on keeping this a secret from him. (Our similarities and such.) I like to keep him guessing. And oh-the-joy when he describes us as opposites.

These qualities, the ones that I believe should restrict him from talking on the phone*, they are the visible and in front of your face qualities. They do not completely, nor accurately describe my daddy. (Yes, I said daddy.) Out of the four of us, he has the big heart that gives love and shares compassion. I could make a list. It would be kinda long. But the dad knows a thing or two about taking care of his neighbor. He physically aches when his business is slow because it decreases his opportunity to provide jobs, money, and food for his employees. Those he feels responsible for and accountable to. He's a big softy. He is.

So, I'm grumpy. And I get it from the dad. But I hope there is more. I hope there is more of him in me. I hope I am more...loving, compassionate, thoughtful...and...well, brash and ballsy. The dad is a complex mixture. Yeah, I hope I am a complex mixture.

But don't tell him. I have to keep him on his toes. You know, because we never see eye-to-eye.

Grumpy and lovable,

BEAT

*My daddy should never be allowed to answer the phone. Nor leave messages. It usually goes something like this. Ring. Ring. Ring. The dad: "Hello." (In your briefest, sharpest, most unpleasant tone.) Me: "Hey, daddy doodles." The dad: Audible huff. Puff. "Yeah..." Or ring. Ring. Ring. Voicemail picks up. The dad: "Blair. It is 5:15. 15 after 5....(message)...(repeat message)...it is 5:16...(repeat message for the third time)" He's going to be upset I included his commentary on this phone etiquette. I do love him. I do.

Photo Friday

2009-09-11T06:12:00.001-05:00

The Dad, BEAT, and the Mom

Nashville, TN

October 2007

UGA beat Vandy! Go dawgs! And the parents made me hold up a hometown newspaper. This picture was later featured in said hometown newspaper. I have proud, supportive parents. This picture fully captures the personalities and essence of the parents. Do you see where I get the grumpy? Can you sense the joy for life? The nose? The height? The matching color scheme? I have inherited so much from both of them.

How cute are my parents? Lovely. Lucky. And blessed. I can't get over it.

Go dawgs! Beat Vandy.

BEAT

ps: UGA doesn't play Vandy for a couple weeks. I am just preparing.

Music of the Moment: Day Two

2009-09-09T06:00:00.001-05:00

Will Hoge

"Even If It Breaks Your Heart"

New favorite. There is this AMAZING radio station in Nashville, Lightning 100. And as the slogan says, "Not Country, Not Corporate." It's true. No country (praise God!). It features many local acts. L100 keeps me up to date on good new music. Check out the "Recently Played" list to see what I'm talking about.

I can hear him playing...saying...even if it breaks your heart...

BEAT

Music of the Moment

2009-09-08T06:00:00.001-05:00

Paramore

Covering The King of Leon's "Use Somebody"

I love this version. And this damn song is everywhere. This is a good rendition from what I hear every five minutes on the radio* and the tv.

Someone like me...

BEAT

ps: So, I love the radio. There, I said it. Love morning talk shows. Love waiting to hear what will be next. Love searching for new stations when I drive five hours. None of this XM stuff. The radio. The real radio. Try it out!

Photo Friday: Bestie Edition, Part 1

2009-09-04T07:00:00.004-05:00

KGB and BEAT

LaGrange, GA

April 2003

When life was simple. And we were still innocent. Right?

BEAT

A scholar?

2009-08-30T09:00:00.001-05:00

They say I'm a scholar. (Laughs out loud.) (Composes self.) (Returns to writing.)

I'm part of a fellowship program at VDS. Our official title is Turner Leadership Scholars. Me? A scholar? It makes me chuckle. I'm not. Sure, I've been in school since I was five years old. Sure, I do okay in the classroom. My GPA was better in college. Grades matter more then. I talk a much better game than I write. I've never been a writer. I'm a talker. Not a scholar. I'm a leader. Not a scholar. I'm a minister. Not a scholar.

The people above are my friends. And according to VDS, they are scholars, too. They are...but not me. These folks have reflected and supported with me over the last two years. I get one more year with them. Well, they will be with me for the rest of my days. They are smart, creative, and thoughtful leaders. I'm lucky.* And they will be there long after graduation. They keep me on my toes. We don't always agree. By knowing these scholars I am presented with the other perspective, a new way, and the challenge to do the hard work. To continue the hard work of ministry. And continue with joy.

They pick me up. And listen. Even respond. But they think. And think. Think some more. Deep and intense thoughts about being better leaders, compassionate ministers, prophetic pastors, and people full of God's love. And me, I get to listen. Even respond. If I can get my thinking up to their level.

I call them scholars. Because they are.

BEAT

*So, I've been told using the language of "lucky" is not...right? Luck implies something...wrong. Something other. Something out of the control of God. By chance. That's what I've been told. Maybe blessed is better? Maybe. I'm guessing I will continue to use the language of "lucky." It's in the vocab.

Photo Friday

2009-08-28T07:00:00.000-05:00

BEAT and The Mom

Athens, GA

Summer 2009

Good to be back!

BEAT

Sabbatical by Circumstances

2009-08-13T12:17:00.002-05:00

Computer's sick. No blogging. (insert sad face) Well, not much blogging. Or viewing. (insert another sad face)

Will be back to a normal routine in about two weeks.

And yes, I do feel cut off from the world. Thanks to the creators and makers of Blackberry, I am not totally without contact.

Miss you. Miss me.
BEAT

Signs of a Child

2009-08-11T18:39:00.006-05:00

Delightful. Precious. Even when a plant might have...maybe...got turned over.

What a good visit. Blessed. And lucky.

BEAT

The Calister

2009-08-10T20:53:00.003-05:00

Perfection! And joy! Lots of love! Oh the love! And did I mention the joy. Amazing.

What a good day.

BEAT

Old Ladies Club

2009-08-09T11:45:00.002-05:00

When the first of the Nine turned 25 I started the Old Ladies Club. I know, I know. We are not old. It was a joke. Kinda. So many life changes made us feel old. Well, older. The changes made me feel old. Well, older. But I had my friends. Good friends who just happen to be hitt ing the same age milestone. Celebration was in order. So, at every birthday I would write, call, or sing something about entry into the Old Ladies Club. Yay? Yep, yay! For being 25.

The last one of us turned 25 last week. "Welcome to the Old Ladies Club!" That's how she was greeted in her emails. It is sorta like the Pink Hat Society, the entry level or precursor to the Red Hat Society. I don't like pink. Never have, so I want us to have our own rules. Renegades. Rebels. Nonconformists. Something our own where we create the standards and expectations.

Things like...

1. No pink. Or no forcing of pink.

2. Little to no make up is required.

3. Laughter. Lots of laughter.

4. Yearly gathering. (Try your hardest to be there.)

5. Submit a Grateful List weekly. (Try your hardest to create.)

The list will continue to grow. Explicitly and implicitly. Written and on our hearts. We do most of these things without thinking. Nothing too new. And my goodness, like we need another name for our group. Like discussed, "best friends" is such a fine title.

I am a member of the Old Ladies Club. There are eight other members. Dues are cheap! Just regular increments of love, kindness, support, and understanding.

It is a fun group. Everybody knows my name.

Growing old(er) isn't that bad.

BEAT

Eyes to See

2009-08-08T09:10:00.004-05:00

It was that dreaded time of the year when I had to go back to the eye doctor. I'm trying to decide if I'm done with contacts. Just not comfortable anymore. Maybe half time? Anywho, I did get BOGO at Pearle Vision. So, two new frames. This makes me happy. I love using glasses as a fashion statement. I am a little sad that I will no longer be using the green/black frames. They are in sad shape. Here's to retirement!

The above frames have been ordered. I love the first pair. Love. The second pair looks lovely in the purple, but I got tortoise. Black and brown to go with any outfit. You know, because it is so important for my glasses to match. What can I say? I love matching.

Here's to new eyes to see.

BEAT

Photo Friday

2009-08-07T07:30:00.004-05:00

Cali Noel Burgess

Athens, GA

Out of Date Pictures

(insert sad face)

Solution? A VISIT! This cutie is in town as we speak seeing other family. Soon enough her lovely mommy and Miss Cali will be hanging with me. A little slice of Athens visiting me! How did I get so lucky? I love being Aunt B.

Storing up big kisses and bear hugs,

BEAT

Julie and Julia

2009-08-06T20:43:00.002-05:00

Some get excited about action movies. Good for you. Some like comedies. Why not? Others can't wait for those Oscar nominated dramas. Me? A movie about food. I get overly excited about a movie that focuses on cooking, learning to cook, becoming a better cook, and eating that which has been cooked.

I'm going with friends to see Julie and Julia this weekend. Can't wait. I love movies that required actors to gain weight. It makes the viewing experience more real...and fair.

Let's eat,

BEAT

House Warming Gift

2009-08-01T16:46:00.005-05:00

My parents gave me a "door security bar" as my house warming gift two years ago. Let's be honest (mom and dad stop reading and pick up a sentence or two down), I used it the first few weeks. I did. Then I got out of habit. No longer part of my nightly routine. A situation recently happened that made me feel not so safe in my own space. Don't freak out. No one broke in. There was not a murder. I had a hostile confrontation with a maintenance worker in my apartment. We'll just say he thinks it is wrong for women to be pastors, speak in church, or even work outside the home. The "conversation" included some other fine exchanges about the bible and tree huggers.

Uneasy. That has been my mood the last few days.

I reported the actions and behavior of the man. I found out later that my complaint resulted in him being terminated from his job. Once again, I'll be honest. This made me feel guilty. This economy sucks, and now I've caused another person to be a statistic. I know, I know. His own words and deeds caused his unemployment, but I can't help feeling (a little) responsible.

Still uneasy.

I will get past the thoughts and memories on replay of him in my home (my private space) talking down to me and gesturing aggressively. I will. So, I am thankful for the kick-in bar. Provides a little extra measure of safety as I...get back to normal?

Thanks mom and dad for one awesome house warming gift. If you have friends that live alone, I highly recommend it. Only $35. And it provides some peace of mind.

Uneasy, but on the mend. Promise.

BEAT

ps: This post has inspired a new label, "crazy people." I'm meeting more and more these days.

Poem Friday: Tribute to Ms. Jane

2009-07-31T18:17:00.003-05:00

THANATOPSIS
by: William Cullen Bryant (1794-1878)

O him who in the love of Nature holds
Communion with her visible forms, she speaks
A various language; for his gayer hours
She has a voice of gladness, and a smile
And eloquence of beauty, and she glides
Into his darker musings, with a mild
And healing sympathy, that steals away
Their sharpness, ere he is aware. When thoughts
Of the last bitter hour come like a blight
Over thy spirit, and sad images
Of the stern agony, and shroud, and pall,
And breathless darkness, and the narrow house,
Make thee to shudder and grow sick at heart;--
Go forth, under the open sky, and list
To Nature's teachings, while from all around--
Earth and her waters, and the depths of air--
Comes a still voice--Yet a few days, and thee
The all-beholding sun shall see no more
In all his course; nor yet in the cold ground,
Where thy pale form was laid with many tears,
Nor in the embrace of ocean, shall exist
Thy image. Earth, that nourish'd thee, shall claim
Thy growth, to be resolved to earth again,
And, lost each human trace, surrendering up
Thine individual being, shalt thou go
To mix for ever with the elements,
To be a brother to the insensible rock,
And to the sluggish clod, which the rude swain
Turns with his share, and treads upon. The oak
Shall send his roots abroad, and pierce thy mould.

Yet not to thine eternal resting-place
Shalt thou retire alone, nor couldst thou wish
Couch more magnificent. Thou shalt lie down
With patriarchs of the infant world--with kings,
The powerful of the earth--the wise, the good,
Fair forms, and hoary seers of ages past,
All in one mighty sepulchre. The hills
Rock-ribb'd and ancient as the sun,--the vales
Stretching in pensive quietness between;
The venerable woods; rivers that move
In majesty, and the complaining brooks
That make the meadows green; and, pour'd round all,
Old Ocean's grey and melancholy waste,--
Are but the solemn decorations all
Of the great tomb of man. The golden sun,
The planets, all the infinite host of heaven,
Are shining on the sad abodes of death,
Through the still lapse of ages. All that tread
The globe are but a handful to the tribes
That slumber in its bosom.--Take the wings
Of morning, pierce the Barcan wilderness,
Or lose thyself in the continuous woods
Where rolls the Oregon and hears no sound
Save his own dashings--yet the dead are there:
And millions in those solitudes, since first
The flight of years began, have laid them down
In their last sleep--the dead reign there alone.
So shalt thou rest: and what if thou withdraw
In silence from the living, and no friend
Take note of thy departure? All that breathe
Will share thy destiny. The gay will laugh
When thou art gone, the solemn brood of care
Plod on, and each one as before will chase
His favourite phantom; yet all these shall leave
Their mirth and their employments, and shall come
And make their bed with thee. As the long train
Of ages glides away, the sons of men,
The youth in life's green spring, and he who goes
In the full strength of years, matron and maid,
The speechless babe, and the gray-headed man--
Shall one by one be gathered to thy side
By those who in their turn shall follow them.

So live, that when thy summons comes to join
The innumerable caravan which moves
To that mysterious realm where each shall take
His chamber in the silent halls of death,
Thou go not, like the quarry-slave at night,
Scourged by his dungeon; but, sustain'd and soothed
By an unfaltering trust, approach thy grave,
Like one who wraps the drapery of his couch
About him, and lies down to pleasant dreams.

The recited words of someone ready for the most pleasant...and final dreams of life.

To the eternal hope of peace...

BEAT

The Journey to McKendree

2009-07-30T12:15:00.006-05:00

I had to give a speech of sorts at Fellowship Breakfast this morning. Nothing like being alert and talkative at 7:30 am. I thought I would share it with y'all. Why not? It outlines this thing we ministry folks call "call." Not a huge fan of talking about myself. Really. But for some reason, I'm asked to do it often. (Some details are, well, exaggerated to keep the attention of older folks.)

I’ve been Methodist my whole life. The meaning of that has changed for me throughout my 25 years of being on this earth. It’s meant what you do on Sunday and where my friends are and what made me different (I went to grade school with a bunch of Baptists who didn’t know how to handle me having a female as a pastor and thinking a sprinkling could pass for a baptism). Then my time with the church meant struggle and affirmation. During my teen years, I spent more time with my church youth group than anybody I went to school with. I was the only “country” kid at my church; the rest of the teenagers were “city” kids. Around the age of 16 I went to on a fall retreat with about 250 other Methodist teenagers to Rock Eagle retreat center. We were packing up to head back to Athens at the end of the weekend, and one of our chaperones stopped the group and asked us to sit back down. After stammering on his own words for five minutes, he finally looked at us and said something like, “You don’t have to wait. You don’t have to be older. God can call you to ministry at any age. Don’t deny it. Don’t hide it. Don’t be scared. If and when the call comes, own it.” That was a defining moment in my life. It clicked. The pieces came together. This deep yearning that had been twisting my heart for…well, I don’t remember how long. But I owned it. I knew that God had called me to serve, to be in ministry with the church and its people.

Well, I sorta owned it. I kept it quiet for a few months. Being a 16 year old female and knowing I was (and am) called to be a minister can cause a great deal of anxiety. I started with my parents, bless their hearts. My mom’s response to this news, “Really? Really! Okay. Fine.” I thought, “That went well.” Then I moved on to my father. His response to the big reveal, “Nope. You’re not going to make enough money. How are you going to support yourself?” After many hours of debate, my dad was not able to wrap his mind around the idea of his daughter being a minister. This became a point of contention until I went to college. And as for my brother, he just wants me to be done with school and get a full time job. He’s been saying this to me for years. Aren’t siblings sweet?

My senior year of high school was…hard. Telling my Baptist friends that I, a female, wanted to be a minister in the church did not receive responses of joy. There were many conversations that ended with, “Well, we’ll just have to agree to disagree.” And disagree we did. I started the application process to colleges, looking specifically at small liberal arts schools with good religion departments. After much debate and financial aid discussions, I made the decision to attend LaGrange College in LaGrange, GA. Because my father was still having a hard time with the whole idea of church work and being a minister, I assured him I was going to be a psychology major. I didn’t take a single psychology course while at LaGrange. Instead I dove head first into the world of religion and sociology. To say I loved my time at LaGrange College would be an understatement. I met eight women along the way who were part of a bible study I attended. This bible study met all four years on Mondays at nine pm. To this day we still email and call each other at least once a week. Some married, some still single, some teachers, one social worker, some still students like myself. We are best friends, and I have LaGrange College to thank for these women of strong faith for being in my life.

As far as classes and activities, LaGrange’s motto is to challenge the mind and inspire the soul. I experienced both. My senior year I was president of the Honor Council that handled academic cases of lying, cheating, and stealing. I was chair of Wesley Fellowship and various others groups. And I was afforded opportunities to travel around the world to experience and celebrate how other cultures do church and live into their faithfulness and discipleship. Some of the places included Costa Rica, Bolivia, Mexico, and even Spain. By course work brought me the most joy, a mixture of ethics and theology and biblical studies and then the practical stuff. My official major was Church Leadership. So many of my classes were concerned with the ministries of the church—working with youth, planning worship, preaching, writing curriculum, and even pushing my professors to think more constructively about all ages present in the local church. My summers during college were spent exploring the vast ministries of the church. I was a camp counselor in the north Georgia mountains. I was a youth ministry intern. I was an interim youth pastor and supply preacher for a small country church. Those summers allowed me to confront the complexities of church work. Mostly, I found affirmation. I once heard a pastor say, “I fell in love. It is a love affair with the church.” I did just that, I found my place working and serving the various peoples that call church a home.

Some where in the midst of my time at LaGrange, my father got it. He saw it. He watched me live into my call, and he has become one of my biggest supporters. I remember the first time I heard him say to someone, “See my daughter (points at me). She’s going to be an ordained minister.” Still brings tears to my eyes. Affirmation. I still get excited when I hear my dad tell people I’m going to be a minister. Or that I am a minister.

When I graduated from LaGrange I confronted many realities. Number one: I was the first to graduate from college in my immediate and most of my extended family. It was a new chapter for the Tolbert family. It was a big accomplishment. (And I am most definitely the first to go to graduate school.) Number two: I needed a break from school, from classes, from reading, and from tests. Number three: I wanted to work in campus ministry because I was just not ready to fully step into adulthood. I graduated in May of 2006 and moved to Chapel Hill, NC at the beginning of July. I became the full time ministry intern for the Wesley Foundation at Chapel Hill. What a marvelous year. Campus ministry may not sound glamorous. Ministering to a bunch of teenagers entering adulthood as they are trying to make major life decisions can be, well, challenging. It was lovely to be doing the work of ministry full time. It was not easy. The hours were long. But once again, it was affirming. I realized I’m an okay teacher, preacher, and counselor. Really, that year in NC gave me hope. Though I was only a few years older than most of the students I ministered to, I quickly realized they are the folks that are going to make this a better world. Not only hope, but they inspired me to listen to more closely to the voice of young people. They have unique voices that are full of love, care, and compassion. No matter what the news reports or common conceptions, I witnessed greatness in the words and deeds of these young adults.

The whole time I was being the campus ministry intern, I was also tackling the discernment process. In that year I became a certified candidate for the order of elder, one of the stops on the ordination track in the UMC. The other part of my discernment concerned where to go to seminary. Looking back, I knew Vanderbilt Divinity School was where I needed and wanted to be from the earliest stages of applying to graduate schools. I looked around at other places. Duke and Emory were high on my list. I decided to come to Vanderbilt, even though it gave me the least amount of financial aid. Like I said, I really knew it was where I needed to be. The day after I accepted my scholarship package I received a letter in the mail. It was a new financial aid package that included a full scholarship and stipend to Vanderbilt. Affirmation? I say yes. It mentioned something about a new leadership program for Methodists, but all I could think about was the possibility of getting out of graduate school debt free. I finished my internship at UNC’s Wesley Foundation and moved to Nashville on July 17, 2007. I started classes soon after.

Within the first week of that Fall semester I had a meeting about this leadership scholars program thingy that was giving me money to come to school. I realized quickly it was more prestigious than I ever imagined. I was part of the inaugural cohort , myself and 5 other students, of the Cal Turner, Jr. Leadership Scholars for Methodist students seeking ordination. I was appointed to a church to be their intern for the next three years to develop, practice, and do ministry leadership in a local congregation. My placement just happened to be West End UMC across from Vanderbilt’s campus. The first was an introductory period to this large member congregation. Last year I spent my time helping and developing a ministry of hospitality for visitors, those considering membership, and new members. This coming year my time will be focused on covenant discipleship small group and training leaders at West End. My time at Vanderbilt and West End UMC have been challenging, but to use the magic word, affirming. One requirement of my degree is to do a field education placement in a non-congregational setting. Talking with the field education director, I requested the opportunity to do chaplaincy work specifically focused on ministries with and to older adults. And guess who fit the bill? You. Making contact, swapping some emails with Carmen, coming for a visit in March, and here I am. With you.

As my time draws near here, I am looking at a full year of classes, interning at West End, and completing my requirements for commissioning in the UMC. Hopefully this time next year will have me returning to Georgia, commissioned, and starting my first appointment. Simply put, this summer has been a wonderful learning experience. And once again, my call and gifts for ministry have been affirmed, lifted up, and blessed by my time with each of you.

Blessed. Amen? Amen.

BEAT

Dirty Dancing

2009-07-28T11:31:00.001-05:00

<a href="http://video.msn.com/?mkt=en-US&from=sp&vid=304364f2-e037-48b6-9ffe-8f67ad6539b1" target="_new" title="Channing Tatum and Charlyne Yi Cinemash ">Video: Channing Tatum and Charlyne Yi Cinemash "Dirty Dancing"</a>

How to lift me out of a bad mood? Do an incredible spoof of Dirty Dancing. That amazing.

Because nobody puts baby in a corner,

BEAT

Grumpy

2009-07-28T08:05:00.003-05:00

My current mood. This is going to be a fun day. Not.

BEAT

ps: And it is much more Grumpy from Snow White than Grumpy for the Care Bears. There is no care in this equation. None.

Just one?

2009-07-26T13:05:00.001-05:00

Growing up I would always say, "But you can only have one best friend." I meant it. From an early age, I would only allow myself to have one best friend. And I made that clear to others. I would declare, "No, This is my best friend. You are not."

The word "best" denotes special, extraordinary, better. Most think of that in a singular form. One best friend. One.

What a fool. I'm talking about myself. Unless of course you hold the same notion. Foolish.

I went to college and the world changed. I changed. I brought along Amber. Well, not really brought along. But we were roommates for four years, yet we've known each other since sixth grade. Amber and I, attached at the hip for those first days at LaGrange, met some folks. It started on our hall, Hawkes 3. Our neighbors would be the first contacts; then quickly followed a curly haired girl down the hall. By the end of that year I was connected to Amber, the neighbors, a curly haired girl down the hall, a girl the floor below who loved turtles, another red head the floor above, and then another set of roommates who just happened to live in the next dorm over. Count it up, that makes nine.*

The next three years created a bond that has lasted. It has not been easy. We moved away. Some got married. Some didn't. Some are still in school. Some work 50 hour weeks. Different stages. Different steps. Different.

But there is a bond. I call these ladies my BFFs. And I mean it. Forever. Always. I know, I know. Sounds even more foolish to say forever than just having one best friend. But I have a feeling. It's okay; call me a fool. Even crazy.

I have some other BFFs. Good BFFs. One recently visited. I'm lucky. I might even call her my sister before my best friend. Her family is my family. My family is her family. Yep, we'll go with sister. And still there are more.

As you can see, I've been pondering this whole BFF thing for awhile. One person in particular has been on my mind. We've been friends since my birth. (Literally.) Our history is deep and wide. We fall a part from one another, but we always find the paths that lead back to the rhythms and patterns of friendship. We'll find our way back. I've got this thing called hope.

The moral of the story, don't be a fool. Have a whole gaggle of best friends. It makes life special, extraordinary, better. And tell'em if you have them. Tell'em you love them. And if you don't have them, well then, I will be praying for you.

Not just one,

BEAT

*There were a few that ebbed and flowed in and out of the circle, but they did not stick around. I mean it, they made the decision to quit us. We can be a hand full but well worth it. Something you want to hold on tight to and never let go. Promise.

Photo Friday: Parthenon Edition

2009-07-24T19:05:00.005-05:00

Centennial Park

Plus Fake Parthenon

Nashville, TN

Summer 2009

The last three weeks have allowed me to enjoy the fake Parthenon of Centennial Park in downtown Nashville. FREE big band music and dance lessons-check (twice). $2 snow cones-why not (twice). Picnic-food is a must (twice). Absolutely amazing weather-we call that luck (thrice). Friends-blessed beyond believe (always).

Come visit and we will hang out in the park...

BEAT

ps: You thought I meant the real Parthenon? Didn't you? Yeah, I'm not that cool. Hey, this one is to scale.

Loveless

2009-07-20T06:37:00.003-05:00

My bestest buddy and I went to the Loveless Cafe last night. This is a famous restaurant in Nashville that has been featured on the Food Network and the Travel Channel. The Biscuit Lady did loose to Bobby Flay on Throwdown. I would disagree. The Loveless has the most amazing biscuits. And the jellies and jams to accompany them are to die for. I think the peach preserves would be my favorite. You know, because I am from Georgia and all.

I had fried catfish, fried okra, and cucumber and onion salad. Something light and airy for summer. The bestest went for the yellow sides plate-hashbrown casserole, creamed corn, mac & cheese...and then changed it up with some green beans.

So, so good. I need to make the Loveless a bigger priority in my life. If you want to come visit, we can make the Loveless a priority together.

got biscuits?

BEAT

Visitors

2009-07-18T13:38:00.005-05:00

My bestest buddy from A-town is coming to visit. Tomorrow. Meaning really soon. We've both been kinda busy the last six months. Damn school, degrees, and jobs. They interfere too often when it comes to having fun. Hopefully we will get some pool time. I've missed the sun. I've missed my buddy more.

And then, heaven help me, my kindred spirits are visiting later in the week. These are my UNC kids. God, it has been SO long. They are all grown up now. Getting real jobs and fancy degrees. Can we say Yale? Both of them. Please enjoy the pictures of our crazy friendship. I'm sure their visit will include laughs, making fun of K, and being silly. We are good at it.

Here's to having friends that drive long distances to visit me. I'm the lucky one.

BEAT

Photo Friday: Evidence

2009-07-17T08:01:00.000-05:00

JM-Dawg, Marg, and BEAT

Bristol, England

May 2009

Finally. See Megs, we were together! All three of us.

Joy,

BEAT

Soundtrack: The A Side

2009-07-12T10:00:00.002-05:00

I was recently inspired by a former professor's editorial in the LaGrange Daily News. He called his article, "10 Great Songs: My Life on Shuffle." I have more than 10 songs. Hundreds if I thought it out (even more). If you've read more than 5 or so post on this blog then you know music is important to me. It gives me a reference point. When I don't have the words, I can find a song that does. I have no musical gifts. None. Well, other than appreciation. So, this is the A side. The ones that come to mind immediately. I will publish the B Side one day.

And just so you know, I love albums more than a singular songs. So for every song listed below, I am really recommending the whole damn album. In most cases the artist has a story to tell and that album allows you to encounter, learn, and know the big picture. And just so you know, these are not ranked. They may (kinda sorta) go in chronological order of life lessons. These songs are landmarks. Some famous, some not.

Alanis Morissette: "You Learn", Jagged Little Pill (Can we say middle school? Along with my love for Mariah Carey and No Doubt. You can't go wrong with lyrics like, "I recommend walking around naked in your living room.")
The Wallflowers: "One Headlight," Bringing Down the Horse (Buy the whole CD! Please! So wonderful. This was the down days of late middle school and early high school. "Three Marlenas" and "Laughing Out Loud" are winners, too. This song allowed me to hide in my room and still have a friend.)
Joan Osborne: "One of Us," Relish (I've never been one from Christian music. This is my religious anthem. I did sing this magical tune for my sixth grade solo and got a superior. My voice changed after that moment. I never did another solo, so it holds a special place in my heart.)
Burlap to Cashmere: "Good Man," Anybody Out There? (I lied. There is this one Christianish band I l-o-v-e. They are no longer together. This band and this song best characterize the beloved days with my youth group. These were my best friends, and I didn't even go to school with them.)
Sister Hazel: "Happy," ...Somewhere More Familiar (My absolute favorite band is Sister Hazel. Each album has been the background music for the last ten years. This song, well, is perfect. It's catchy. It's fun. It's message is true. "Who's content? and who's for rent?" It all makes sense when you think of clicks and insider/outsider fears of school.)
Pat Green: "Three Days," Three Days (I still play this song when I am about an hour from my parents' house. I usually only have have three days. And Mr. Green could be my favorite country artist.)
Hanson: "Crazy Beautiful," Underneath (Junior year of college was the best. Other than coming into my own skin, I rediscovered Hanson. No judging. This song is best when the windows are down, volume up, and my favorite roommate and I running away from stress with frosties and french fries.)
Gladys Knight and The Pips: Midnight Train to Georgia (On a hellish trip to L.A. that involved being stranded in Dallas overnight and a whole bunch of u-turns, this song was played every few hours. My group took it as an omen. We needed to get the hell out of Cali and back to the homeland. Since leaving the G-A, this song has had a special place in my heart.)
Ben Folds: "Best Imitation of Myself," Ben Folds Live (Getting ready to graduate and wondering about the next chapter. I knew this song would be my graduation anthem when I first heard the line about losing my Southern accent. Then I went directly to CH, where I was learning to be me.)
Indigo Girls: "Nashville," Rites of Passage (Pretty self explanatory. I played this over and over the first two months I moved. I still play this song before every big exam. The album title kinda describes the purpose and plan of being in Nashville, too. And you can't go wrong with the Indigo Girls. Right?)
Coldplay: "Swallowed in the Sea," X & Y (I just love this song. "And I could write a song a hundred miles long. Well that's where I belong." It reminds me of my friends and family, especially when we are hundreds of miles apart. Though away, we are so close. And there is always the hope of being reunited.)
Dixie Chicks: "Lullaby," The Long Way (If and when I get married, this will make the perfect first dance song. For now, it is what I listen to when I can't sleep. That is more often than I wish these days, but I am okay when I have this song in my life. The ladies of DC consistently provide me with the therapy I need.)
Glen and Marketa: "Falling Slowly," Once Soundtrack (This is the most perfect movie soundtrack ever. Not mentioning the movie. If I could describe the emotion of love in words, I am pretty sure I would use the lyrics of this song. Dramatic, I know. The raw emotion is even evident in the honest singing. It draws you in. And Lord knows we need more love in this world. Something about the mixture of forgiveness, time, and hope makes the message of love so clear. And it is not about lasting love. Just love in all forms.)
Alison Krauss: "Down to the River to Pray," O Brother, Where Art Thou? (Right now, it is all about prayer. Life is in transition, meaning I am in discernment. It brings comfort. And comfort is something I'm in short supply of at the moment.
Joe Purdy: "Sad Clown," You Can Tell Georgia (I'm still trying to figure out why I love this song so much. And not just love it, but why it applies to my life. It does. I just know it will be with me the rest of my days. Enjoy. Just enjoy the incredible voice of Mr. Purdy. Oh yeah, if I had to recommend one album you must buy at this very moment, this is it. It is that good.)

So, I would love for you to share. What makes up your soundtrack? What plays in the background of your brain as you go through each day? What song or artist makes life bearable?

On repeat,

BEAT

Photo Friday

2009-07-10T16:40:00.003-05:00

Graceland

Memphis, TN

Thanksgiving 2007

I've had the song "Walking in Memphis" on rotation in my mind all day.

But do I really feel the way I feel?

BEAT

Music of the Moment: I'm a Redneck, Y'all

2009-07-06T20:40:00.004-05:00

Or I live in the Country Music Capital of the...world. It is probably both. I mean, I am from Georgia. My (childhood) house is surrounded by chicken houses and cow pastures.

Redneck? Right? Right. Bless me and my roots.

Every radio station (because I'm old school, I still LOVE listening to the radio) in the current city in which I reside plays country music. Umm, who knew the guy from Hootie and the Blowfish sings country? Because he does. I do not lie. But I really enjoy his catchy, catchy tunes. Can't help it. And the below song is on every 5 minutes. And I'm okay with that.

And there is this other band that I love. Check them out, the Zac Brown Band! How can you go wrong with a song called Chicken Fried? I mean really. But I am in a sappy mood, so enjoy What Ever It Is. Lovely. Cute. Sweet. I do enjoy a good dose of Southern charm. Like I said, I'm from Georgia.

So here is my music of the moment. Add them to your collection.

I've got whatever it is. (But I'm still trying to figure out what it is.)

BEAT

Never the Same

2009-07-05T08:00:00.000-05:00

I bought an ironing board. (Pause.) I'm waiting for the gasping to stop. Well, I am waiting for the gasping to stop from Megs. Yes, I have this thing that stands up and allows me to iron without creases. I've been putting this off for years. If (big if) and when I need to iron I do it on my bed. FYI: This doesn't work so well. Like I mentioned, creases.

Something about buying an iron board means growing up. It shouts adulthood. And it means breaking away from family traditions. We don't iron in my family. Throw it in the dryer. That is...was...always our solution. I'm creating my own traditions now. I guess that includes ironing and doing said ironing on an actual ironing board.

Life changes. We change. I change. Me buying an ironing board is evidence. Just this small purchase means life will never be the same. From now until I die (dramatic, I know), I will need an ironing board. Never the same.

I've been feeling this way often lately. The littlest things change the course, and you are set on a new path. It can be a hard reality; one that causes anxiety and even anger. I've been tapping into these emotions more than I wish lately. Maybe I didn't want the ironing board. I didn't. But, my goodness, I needed it. Those professional clothes are meant to look professional. (Only if I could afford the drycleaners.)

The littlest things. Or the biggest decisions. And life is never the same. You learn to deal. I become better at ironing. I grow up and face adulthood. It is easy to get distracted, battered, bruised, and overwhelmed. Yet, I do just that. I face it. And...I'm never the same.

It is almost comforting. Almost.

Never the same,

BEAT

Photo Friday

2009-07-03T08:00:00.002-05:00

Tallapoosa, GA

May 2006

This picture is to honor all the wedding anniversaries of friends and their appendages during the summer months. Congrats! Love y'all. And many blessings of more happy days.

Love, love, love

BEAT

*The wedding featured above carries a funny story. I think it had something to do with an awkward kiss, speedy reception, and the bride never speaking to us again. Right, ladies?

IAK

2009-07-02T20:11:00.005-05:00

I hear some funny things at work. Kinda like: "The Elderly Say the Darndest Things." Or "Out of the Mouths of Old People." .

I've been on call this week and most of the residents knew about it. And not just the residents, the other staff. Some would just call out, "Chaplain."* I guess they all felt comfortable with me this week. And with that comfort came the slogans, phrases, and stories that had me giggling and...in shock and awe.It is never ending. I would like to share some of my favorites

Random lady after breakfast: "I know this guy who always tells people he is confused. That is all he likes to talk about. He wears this shirt with the letter 'IAK' across it. Everyone asks him about it. His response, 'I Am Konfused.' Everyone's response to him, 'That's not how you spell confused.' His comeback, 'See. That's how konfused I am.' (pause) Well, it's the truth. We are all confused." Turns and walks away.
Random lady during Bible Study: "War is just like a rocking chair. You rock and rock and rock, but you don't get anywhere. Just like war, I tell ya."
Same lady moments lady as we are discussing the parables in Mark 4: "Y'all got it all wrong. I'll tell you how you learn. Shut up. That's how. The only way to learn is by listening. Hello, that's why God gave you two ears and one mouth."
Visiting around from table to table during an ice cream social, I turn to one my favorite residents and fluff my hair. She starts laughing at me because she knows I am talking about her new hair do (excuse me, her reset). Me to B: "It looks beautiful." B to me: "Well I gotta keep that boyfriend happy. Excuse me, boyfriends." Me to B: "Boyfriends?" B to me: "Better believe it. Three this week."
By now I should know never (ever) to ask how anyone is. This gets the best responses. Most of the time it sounds like a weather report. The best one thus far is from a gentleman riding with me in the elevator. "Far to middle with a slight chance of clouds." Of course that describes how you are. Of course.

And this is my adventure with the lovely folks of MKV. I do love it. Really. Truly.

IAK,

BEAT

* My official title is Chaplain Intern. But I often get called Chaplain, Preacher, Preacher Girl, How Old Are You?, and Hey You. I answer to all. With a lovely smile on my face.

Ain't Nothin' But A Hound Dog

2009-06-29T19:22:00.003-05:00

Please see this most amazing post EVER from one of my favorite blogs. I want a hound dog so badly. I've been considering it for years. I turned away for a while. Considering other options. One of those gourmet dogs as I like to call them. You know what I'm talking about. Some breed mixed with another breed to make a super breed.

Like I said, look at this cute puppy. These pictures are so lovely. Lovely and funny. Funny and adorable. Adorable and I want one so badly.

My mom said, "Not until you have a permanent spot." Right. Like my lifestyle and future career shouts permanent.

A year from this Christmas. A year from this Christmas, and I will have my hound dog. I even have names. Have had them for years. If a boy, Eddie. The formal name would be Edison. And a girl, Marigold. And no, Goldie will not be her pet name. Get it, pet name. She will go by Marigold.

Here's to hoping and dreaming,

BEAT

Photo Friday

2009-06-26T16:46:00.003-05:00

Alvin Lingenfelter

Costa Rica

April 2004

I was looking through old pictures and found this one. Since I got to spend some time with my old professor last week, this oldie but goodie seemed fitting. Wanna meet his awesome family? Check them out HERE. Coolest kids ever.

Pura Vida,

BEAT

9 Pints

2009-06-23T16:46:00.004-05:00

Yesterday was one of those learning experiences. You read right. Multiple moments of learning. First hospital visit. First "birthday" party.* First shrug off. First open arms, coming running at you hug.

All those firsts tell you lots about ministry. You never know what ministry is. I know, I know. It doesn't make much sense. But you can't classify ministry. What is. What isn't. Me stopping in the hall to hear about an upcoming doctor's visit is just as urgent as the visit to the hospital of the individual receiving the ninth pint of blood in less than 48 hours.

One may seem more important. It may just seem that way. But not to the person. Not to the face. Not to the shaking voice worried about results. Or not to the gleeful smile wanting to share about winning BINGO.

The thing I've learned most: age. You can't judge anything by age. Of more accurately speaking, I can't guess age. I've met more centenarians than I can count. Literally. And non of them look or act it. I love it. I love the surprise. Oh, you're a 103? You don't say. Oh, you just celebrated 101? I can only hope. Always a pleasant surprise.

Other things that have me leaning outside the comfort of what I know:

1. Leading singing. Me, the one who can't carry a note. I am leading hymns.

2. Spacial barriers. You have to get close. Touch. Hold hands. Get face-to-face. Eye to eye. Mouth to ear. Yell even. It's not a might; it is a must.

3. I wish life would have granted me more time with my grandparents.

Learning daily, daily learning,

BEAT

*They have monthly "birthday" parties and everyone comes. There is cake involved. And singing. Maybe even a little dancing. When is the last time you did the Twist?

Secrets?

2009-06-21T17:30:00.002-05:00

Have you ever sent a secret to Postsecret? I have. There. I said it. But I'm not going to tell you. I think the above video is interesting and very true. We struggle with the public and private self. I struggle with this continually. More than ever I feel like I need secrets. I say need because I am so public. We are all so public. I need things that others don't know about. That are just mine. Something other. Not yours. But mine.

Yet that becomes lonely. Maybe not lonely...but secretive. Or lonely.

Is there a happy medium?

Just wondering,

BEAT

Photo Friday: Better Late Than Never

2009-06-20T20:42:00.003-05:00

Lake Oconee, GA

June 2009

My favorite place on earth. Really. The Mom and I spent the day there. Maybe a little sunburnt. The breeze makes it all worth it.

So lovely,

BEAT

Editorial: Methodists bring fellowship, economic boost

2009-06-18T20:15:00.002-05:00

People like us. They really like us. Maybe...mostly...because we bring the money. But I will take it.

Being Methodist,
BEAT

Editorial: Methodists bring fellowship, economic boost | Opinion | OnlineAthens.com

Shared via AddThis

What I've been up to the last few days...

2009-06-17T19:39:00.002-05:00

Moving performance: Energetic opening to Methodist conference | News | OnlineAthens.com

Shared via AddThis

Wonderfully gifted. What a blessing.

BEAT

The Good Mr. Wesley

2009-06-14T08:28:00.000-05:00

Wesley Christmas Tree Ornament-check!

Wesley Tea Cup-check!

Wesley Coaster-check!

Wesley Keychain-check!

Wesley Postcard-check!

Wesley Bookmark-check!

Don't judge. Some of these incredible finds are gifts. (Maybe.) If I can part with them.

I will proudly drink out of that tea cup for the rest of my days. I did buy an extra in case something happens to the first one. Like I said, don't judge.

The ornament, in particular, is special. I got one of Charles, too. The only difference you may ask? The hair color. Quality.

I love being extra touristy. I guess only I truly understand how the thoughts, sermons, actions, and attitudes of the good Mr. Wesley really changed this world. Or only I create the rationale to buy these things to honor Mr. Wesley's work.

It requires homage. At least in my mind.

Cheers to the good Mr. Wesley,

BEAT

Photo Friday

2009-06-12T07:13:00.004-05:00

Georgia Belle

(The Brother's New Puppy)

June 2009

So damn cute...

BEAT

Ps: The cuteness just keeps coming...

Music of the Moment: Modern Skirts

2009-06-11T22:10:00.003-05:00

Modern Skirts

"Pasadena"

I love this group. Maybe it is because they are an Athens favorite. Enjoy!

ps: Learn more HERE.

Timeout

2009-06-09T14:31:00.001-05:00

Amazing. Life changing amazing. I heart Saved by the Bell.

Watch and be changed. Can't wait for the reunion!

BEAT

The Old Folks Home

2009-06-08T08:00:00.002-05:00

Not really. Not at all. Well, sorta. But don't let anyone know I said it.

I am starting a new internship today! I will be the Student Chaplain at McKendree Village. I will be ministering to those in independent, assisted, dementia, and rehabilitation living situations. This means chapel services, bible studies, visitations, maybe funerals, breakfasts, hanging by the elevators for people watching (this is a big part of my j-o-b), listening, listening some more, and being present for the staff. Hopefully I will obtain a whole new skill set.

I will be updating you over the next nine weeks. I am really excited. And nervous.

Send me your good vibes for my first day!

BEAT

ps: Check it out! McKendree Village!

Words Can Hurt

2009-06-06T17:04:00.009-05:00

While in Salisbury, my group took a tour of the tower. 300 and some odd steps to the top of the Cathedral. Finally reaching the final platform that allowed us to look out onto the town, I was hurt by some words. Winding staircases, 300 and some odd steps to the top, and it took one sentence to ruin the adventure. Words that reminded me of deep feelings and insecurities. Words can hurt. Words do hurt.

After going out the first small door onto a balcony to look out the tower, our tour guide directed us back in and pointed to another door. Walking toward the next balcony, the tour guide looks at me and says, "You've had one too many full English breakfasts. You're too big to fit on this balcony." The tears could immediately be felt. That deep stinging feeling at the back of the eyes. I had to look away. I had to walk away. One sentence with the words "too many" and "full" put me over the edge. My feelings were hurt.

The tour guide told other members of my group they could not go onto the balcony. These were guys. And he didn't look them up and down before saying anything. Nor did he mention eating habits to them. It is funny how the smallest of actions or words can hurt someone. I should know this by now. I do it more often than I realize. Not only does it make you feel insecure because your personal dignity is wounded, it hurts because those words are said with such little consideration. Such little thought. Even when you think you're doing the right thing or being cautious, words can hurt. The tour guide probably thought he was being cautious because he knew I couldn't go onto the balcony because the tower had leaned over the years, making it impossible for some to fit on the narrow lookout.

His words still hurt. I found myself obsessing about my weight the rest of the trip. Using my bag to cover parts I do not like in pictures. Sucking it in. Not liking myself because of one sentence. One thought. One cautious remark that carried more weight than my tour guide could ever realize. I find myself obsessing still. At this very moment. And regretting. I am regretting my words, sentences, and thoughts that have hurt others.

Someone in particular of recent days. Words of caution and concern still hurt. And for that, I am sorry.

Words can hurt. My words can hurt.

BEAT

Photo Friday

2009-06-05T15:30:00.005-05:00

Salisbury Cathedral

Salisbury, England

May 2009

One of my favs from the trip,

BEAT

A tease...

2009-06-04T18:50:00.007-05:00

Back. Tired. Need sleep. Fun. 600+ pictures of amazing awesomeness.

Wesley. Oh those Wesleys. Lots-o-Wesleys.

Much peace,

BEAT

Remember me?

2009-06-01T07:00:00.001-05:00

Just checking.

BEAT

ps: Be back in town around June 4ish.

Reunited...

2009-05-27T06:00:00.001-05:00

...sorta. Megs is being replaced by Marg. JM made the big move across the pond!

Bristol, Bath, and maybe even London. Just another summer traveling to and with the BFFs.

Conquering the world 1/3 at a time,

BEAT

My Mecca

2009-05-24T12:11:00.005-05:00

Have I ever mentioned how much I love John Wesley? I am a Christian. But my particular flavor is Methodism. I am a Methodist. And all the derogatory gloriousness that comes with that title.

England is my Mecca. Not the whole country. Well, maybe. More specifically I would say Oxford, Bristol, London, and even Epworth. And if I am honest, Georgia. The state, not the country. John had some rough months in Georgia, but it transformed him.

10 days. Where it all started for 10 days.

I was there for two weeks last year. I did not subject my friends to all the landmarks. Megs and JM, you can thank me again later.

10 days of lovely sights, sounds, and theology. The emphasis is worship and liturgy. These are my personal favorites. No lies. I could think, talk, and do liturgizing all day. The crafting of worship is such a special endeavour.

Think of it as a pilgrimage. A spiritual journey to reconnect to my roots. To walk where Wesley rode his horse. To stand where the class meetings met. To remember the challenges of seeking justice and speaking truth.

10 days.

Maybe I will go on toward perfection.

Maybe.

BEAT

Photo Friday: Garden in the Urban Community

2009-05-22T08:37:00.005-05:00

Catholic Worker Movement:

Nashville Greenlands

May 2009

This gentlemen, who uses his small lot to have a year around garden, has been cited many times by the city for having too much growth. Too high. Too wild.

Yet it is sustaining. He cans. He freezes. He uses the land-every inch-to provide.

Call him crazy. Call him cool. Most of all, call him resourceful.

Green upon green,

BEAT

Tired

2009-05-20T16:45:00.003-05:00

Tired. Long days. Heavy days full of the world's problems. The church's problems. Humanity's problems that few are willing to really talk about. Much less solve. Change. Make better. Become whole.

Heavy.

I direct you HERE. It is true! Beware UK! Beware.

I miss my girls. And to be together in another country.

Dreams do come true.

BEAT

Music of the Moment

2009-05-19T08:14:00.002-05:00

"I Run to You"

Lady Antebellum

Love the song. Hate the band name. They have other great songs. che-che-check them out.

Sing upon sing,

BEAT

ps: Living in Nashville requires me to post country music. It is in the blog by-laws.

Friendship Is Not Like A Booty Call

2009-05-17T20:25:00.003-05:00

I went to a great service this morning. Two hours seemed like twenty minutes. It was a place of welcome. A church that made space for the homeless. Not just space, but a home where every member is valued. Put to work. And given praise.

Justice is for all. They even had a "ritual" of hospitality.

The sermon was about friendship. The dynamic pastor said, "Friendship is not like a booty call. It requires foreplay and after-play." Of course you laugh. Of course. But how true. He explained that friendship requires three essential components. He took something most fear, the IRS, and used those initials to outline the necessity of Intentionality, Response, and Sustain. This IRS is what allows us to be friends. Good friends. Great friends. Best friends. Which equals work. Hence the need for foreplay and after-play.

I want to be that good of a preacher one day. Honest. True. Lively. Relational. Gospel.

Nothing like a booty call,

BEAT

Photo Saturday?

2009-05-16T12:00:00.000-05:00

Three years? Really?

BEAT

Photo Friday: Church in the City

2009-05-15T18:30:00.011-05:00

I am back in class. Maymester. Lovely. It is an extremely emotional course about the church in the urban community. How does the church respond to such injustices as: food deserts, violence, homelessness, and unfair working conditions? How does the church promote: living wages, education, and health care? That is what I've spent the last four days discussing. And I have five more days to go. I am emotionally drained. And almost physically. Twelve hour days can be tough.

Let's not forget, the hard questions must be asked. I still have prostitution, abuse, prison, and much more to discuss.

Above are some pictures reflecting the last few days. All over Nashville. Today, in particular, we did a neighborhood mapping exercise. I wish I had a barber shop to hang out at.

Hard and more hard questions,

BEAT

Music of the Moment

2009-05-12T09:58:00.002-05:00

"Kind of a Girl"

Tinted Windows

Why yes, that is the lead singer of Hanson. And why yes, that other guy with bleached hair happens to be from the Smashing Pumpkins. This is a collaboration made in heaven. Trust me. "Messing with My Head" is a must have for the summer. That is my prediction.

Well, go buy it for $0.99 off iTunes.You know you want to. Do it. We have to support those Hansons. Their gonna have like 10 babies each. Stimulus plan of sorts.

Rock upon rock,

BEAT

ps: Hanson is one of my all time favorites. Not the stuff when they were kids. Their recent albums are pretty damn amazing. Plus, they really like Georgia girls. That always earns points.