IAK

I hear some funny things at work. Kinda like: "The Elderly Say the Darndest Things." Or "Out of the Mouths of Old People." .

I've been on call this week and most of the residents knew about it. And not just the residents, the other staff. Some would just call out, "Chaplain."* I guess they all felt comfortable with me this week. And with that comfort came the slogans, phrases, and stories that had me giggling and...in shock and awe.It is never ending. I would like to share some of my favorites

• Random lady after breakfast: "I know this guy who always tells people he is confused. That is all he likes to talk about. He wears this shirt with the letter 'IAK' across it. Everyone asks him about it. His response, 'I Am Konfused.' Everyone's response to him, 'That's not how you spell confused.' His comeback, 'See. That's how konfused I am.' (pause) Well, it's the truth. We are all confused." Turns and walks away.
• Random lady during Bible Study: "War is just like a rocking chair. You rock and rock and rock, but you don't get anywhere. Just like war, I tell ya."
• Same lady moments lady as we are discussing the parables in Mark 4: "Y'all got it all wrong. I'll tell you how you learn. Shut up. That's how. The only way to learn is by listening. Hello, that's why God gave you two ears and one mouth."
• Visiting around from table to table during an ice cream social, I turn to one my favorite residents and fluff my hair. She starts laughing at me because she knows I am talking about her new hair do (excuse me, her reset). Me to B: "It looks beautiful." B to me: "Well I gotta keep that boyfriend happy. Excuse me, boyfriends." Me to B: "Boyfriends?" B to me: "Better believe it. Three this week."
• By now I should know never (ever) to ask how anyone is. This gets the best responses. Most of the time it sounds like a weather report. The best one thus far is from a gentleman riding with me in the elevator. "Far to middle with a slight chance of clouds." Of course that describes how you are. Of course.

And this is my adventure with the lovely folks of MKV. I do love it. Really. Truly.

IAK,

BEAT

* My official title is Chaplain Intern. But I often get called Chaplain, Preacher, Preacher Girl, How Old Are You?, and Hey You. I answer to all. With a lovely smile on my face.