Reviewing My Middler

I can't go onto my balcony because of the above. I can't even open my sliding glass doors because of the above. I want to enjoy the lovely marchness of this March. Instead, I took a nap. A suitable trade off if you know me. (And before you ask mom, I have contacted the apartment complex.)

So, I share a story instead of studying outside on my balcony. You know, because of the above.

Last week I had my Middler Review. I like saying, "Reviewing My Middler." Sounds dirty. Makes me laugh. Especially when I remember that my advisors were there. Totally giggling right now.

Over half way complete with this degree. My last degree. Forever. And ever

After writing a five page reflection about my progress inside and outside the classroom, I had an hour interview about my comments. My thoughts on certain aspects of the last year and a half prompted them to ask my opinion about improving the degree program. Never a good choice unless you really, really, REALLY want my opinion. I let'em have it. Just about a few things. Promise. Just a few things. Very few.

Then we got into a conversation about religious leadership. My current work as a religious leader. My future as a religious leader. Viki, Field Education Director extraordinaire, referenced a recent case study I submitted. She said, "BEAT, do you remember what you said to me in one of our first conversations?" (My internal monologue begins: "Lord help me. What is coming back now to bite me in the ass?") Viki continued with, "You looked me in the eye and said, 'I am brash and bold. I tell people what I think. All the time'." (Self thinking: "Yep. Biting me in the ass in 3, 2...") She finished with, "But this case study showed such growth and maturity. Your response was one of care and concern. It was not just about you."

And it was not just about me. It is never just about me. It is about the Creator, Redeemer, and Sustainer of this world. It is about all creation. All creation that has been named good by the Creator, Redeemer, and Sustainer.

It is so easy to forget the big picture when I am in classroom. It is so easy to become jaded about the future. About the church. About humanity. Then someone reminds me of my call. My growth in that call. My love of that call. It is never just about me. Yeah, I know. I still have my moments of being bold and brash and saying things that bite me in the ass. But each day is a new opportunity to live into my call of word, sacrament, and service. To love. To care. To enable humanity to know they have been called good by the God that let's grace be abundant. To prepare the table that is open to all who love the Lord and desire to love the Lord.

It is never just about me. And I am continuing to remember this. To be the religious leader that embodies such abundant grace. To be the pastor that loves all of creation because I was first loved. To be the religious leader that calls humanity to respond to such abundant grace that makes them...loved...whole.

So, I reviewed my middler. And for once, I liked what I saw.

Grace upon grace,

BEAT

ps: Update on the above-Exterminator is coming Friday to kill, kill, kill! There goes loving all of creation.